Ahhh. The 5th floor of Danish Blueberry Mound Hospital. I’m impressed. I get my own room, my own bathroom. The bed is significantly more comfortable than the one you get when you are giving birth.
The bed is almost like a raft. Next to the rails are inflatable tubes. Every time I move, the bed adjusts and something inflates to fill in the space. I feel so fancy.
I need to pee. There’s a bathroom in the room. No towel on the bed for me this time! There’s a sign that explicitly states I need a STAFF member to assist. Family members don’t count. I AM NOT AN INVALID! I can walk. I use all my strength to hoist myself upright and then step off the bed.
BEEP! BEEP! Dirty rat! The bed is a snitch! I quickly sit down to stop the beeping. The nurse comes in and I let her escort me. She is kind enough to grant me the dignity of a closed door. The moment I flush the door is opened. Hello? Don’t mind me. Just thought I might wash my hands. She watches me as I make my way back to the bed.
And then begins the waiting. Waiting. Waiting. They don’t want to give me ativan until I see a neurologist. They take blood. There is no lidocaine in my system. No one seems to believe lidocaine did this to me.
Back when I was down in the hallway, the doctor first said he didn’t think my problems were caused by lidocaine.
“When did it start?”
“As soon as I got a shot of lidocaine.”
“Okay. So maybe it is related to the lidocaine.”
Face palm.
Nurse in my room is taking down information, going through medical history.
“It says here you’re allergic to lidocaine. Why did they give you lidocaine!?!”
“That got added after the lidocaine did this to me.”
“Oh.”
Face palm.
Danish Blueberry Mound is proving to be very frustrating. It alternates between being ignored and not listened to. I tell Dave to go home to our kids. They must be scared. I’ll be fine. I’ll just go to sleep. I give him my coffee order for the morning.
I’m exhausted. Shaking and twitching non-stop is a bit of a work out. The only decent channel on the television is TNT. I roll over, feel the bed inflate around me, and drift off to sleep.